Appendix A
Interview Questions Used in High School Student Interviews
- [[Insert name or pseudonym]], tell us a little about yourself.
- How old are you?
- How long have you lived in this area?
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- What do you want to be when you grow up?
- What are your college plans?
- Describe yourself as a writer, [[insert name or pseudonym]].
- Do you like to write?
- When you do write, what kinds of things do you write?
- Do you write outside of school?
- [[Insert name or pseudonym]], tell us about your computer use?
- When did you first learn to use a computer?
- How often do you use a computer?
- When you use a computer, what kinds of activities do you do on the computer?
- Tell us about your use of the OWL, [[insert name or pseudonym]].
- What did you think about the OWL when you first heard about it?
- What do you think about it now?
- How have you used the OWL?
- What did you think about the OWL tutors?
- What difference, if any, has the OWL made in your writing skill?
- [[Insert name or pseudonym]], is there anything else you’d like us to know about you, your writing, or your experiences with the OWL?
Appendix B
Sample OWL Submissions with Comments
Sample 1
The essay draft below was submitted by Student_A and responded to by Consultant_2.
The consultant’s marginal comments are inserted into the student’s draft with bold and brackets, and Consultant_2’s end comment follows the essay draft.
| Paper with Comments: |
| Eleanor Roosevelt once eloquently stated, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Dreams power people’s perceptions and hopes for the future. The wheel of progress is essentially a vital component to America’s ever-shifting future. [[Consultant_2: You’ve got me hooked here. You’ve caught my attention and I’m drawn in.]] As progress fuels the future, dreams become realized and have the potential to become tangible. From the Declaration of Independence created in 1776 to the controversial Patriot Act of 2001, America has always geared for the future. I am most certainly aligned with the concept of progress. My American Dream stems from the impact I wish to leave on this earth. My road to this dream starts with a solid college education and eventually a Ph.D. in industrial psychology. This exciting field would provide opportunities to expand and grow as an individual, because this career puts great emphasis on communication and analytic skills. Progress is the driving force behind my ambitions because I aspire to positively shape business’ futures. Another portion of my American Dream is to have a family as well as a career. I am fortunate to have the model of my mother who juggles a career and family obligations. Being an active member of the community is another aspect of my vision of the American Dream. As a teenager I am involved in my church, school, and community through volunteer service. I hope to continue my involvement as an adult member of society. This concept of the American Dream does not deviate too far from my mother’s definition of the “American Dream”. As an elementary school educator, my mother believes that her American Dream is to impact the world through the youth of today to guide the future. She lives her dream through teaching, coaching for a community league volleyball team, and being a mom. [[Consultant_2: The structure of the sentence is not parallel. Please see my letter.]] Another aspect of her American Dream is to provide for her family and as well as to create a safe and loving home environment. As the wheel of progress continues to turn, I hope to be an active participant in the community and realize my educational as well as career oriented goals. Just as my mother strives to impact the children of today, I too wish to be involved in the future of society through my family and career. The legacy I leave behind will be highlighted in the people I have touched and the goals I have accomplished. Once my legacy radiates from those who were close to me, my American Dream will be actualized. [[Consultant_2: As a reader I am left thinking. Your point was well taken.]] |
| Comment: Hi Student_A, After reading your essay I was left thinking that progress is inevitable without change. And change is not something to be afraid of; it’s necessary and natural for “America’s every-shifting future.” Overall, the essay flows well and because you draw me as a reader and keep hitting that man point of progress home, the transitions are smooth and you “adequately [bring] the essay to a close.” Perhaps the only thing I have to suggest is for you to keep an eye on parallel structure. In the third paragraph I noticed an inconsistent structure: “She lives her dream through teaching, coaching for a community league volleyball team, and being a mom.” You could say: “She lives her dream by being a mom, teaching elementary school children and coaching for a community league volleyball team.” This is just a suggestion. Now that I’ve taken a close look at paragraph three, I am left with a few questions. While you list three examples of how your mom is “living the American Dream,” two are adequately developed. How do you feel about not mentioning her coaching for a volleyball league? If this example is taken out, then you’ll have a bit more space to briefly explain what “a safe and loving home environment” looks like. Thank you for submitting to the OWL. Good luck on getting that scholarship! I look forward to seeing your work again. Consultant_2 |
Sample 2
The questions and introduction paragraph draft were submitted by Student_B and responded to by Consultant_12.
Version: 1
| Assignment Prompt: The City in Anthem has numerous rules and controls. Why do these exist? What is their purpose? Do you think the society that Equality envisions creating at the end of the story would include any of these rules and controls? Explain why or why not. |
| Student Questions: Is my thesis strong enough to carry the rest of the essay, and does my introduction provide a decent amount of information? |
| This paper is a: First Draft Revised Based On Input From a: Not a revisionIn Anthem, by Ayn Rand, Equality 7-2521 lives in a collective society, and the entire population is run by an overwhelmingly limiting set of rules. The rules exist to control what the citizens do and think. People in this society are not allowed to do what they please, and they are not allowed to think for themselves. The rules and controls create a civilization where people live for the good of their “brothers” and not for themselves. One man, Equality 7-2521, discovers that he is different form the rest, and he begins to question the rules.[[Consultant_12: is he going to move beyond the rules? If you are going to explain if he goes on his own path, state that after you say that he questions like… “he begins to question the rules and choses to seek a life of individualism”]] |
| Comment: Hello Student_B, I like your question. For not reading Anthem, you gave me a short synopsis of what the book was about. It was clear and got right to the point. I like your thesis, it focuses on one person, Equality and you state his position in Anthem and his goals within Anthem. Go For it, just remember to stay focused on Equality because he is your key point to argueing the rules and controls of Anthem. Good Luck-Consultant_12 |
Appendix C
All of the interviews conducted by [Name Redacted] for this article can be found on on the YouTube channel for this article:
High School Girls Soliciting Feedback