Student Example #4: Flash Animation
Visual Argument Assignment
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Assessment with Writing Program Rubric as presented in comments to student
Thesis/Focus
You are making an argument about movie piracy. However, your thesis/focus is hard to understand after a single viewing.
Organization
You divide the animation into three sections. Section one and two discuss the MPAA and the "crack down" on piracy, and section three tells viewers that piracy is stealing. You need to work on transitions and connections between sections one and two and section three. You make no clear connection between these sections. For example, you need to explain how the MPAA is connected to your argument about piracy as stealing. This organizational problem makes your thesis/focus difficult for viewers to understand.
Development
While you used some clever ideas in your animation, you need to develop your argument. The argument lacks complexity and appears to be an oversimplification of the issue. You primarily rely on redundancy by providing the same information through text and images. For instance, if you removed the animated logo in the second section, your argument would be the same. In other words, the images do not add much to the depth or complexity of your argument. Think about how you could more effectively combine text and images to convey the complexity of the issue and your argument. Also, you need to provide more background information for viewers who do not know about the MPAA or about movie piracy.
Syntax and Diction
You have created an interesting animation in the second section. You cleverly used the MPAA logo to illustrate the "crack down" you are describing. However, the combination of text and images you use are not strong enough to convey your argument. For instance, your opening text mentions the MPAA, yet you do not explain the abbreviation until the second section. Likewise, you do not inform viewers that you are using the MPAA logo in the second section. These disconnects between your use of text and images hinder your ability to convey your argument and persuade your audience.
Format and Design
While the animation incorporates some clever design elements (the "crack down" with the logo and Uncle Sam holding videos), other elements take away from the argument you are trying to make. The text you include is difficult to read. For example, the text at the end of the animation is in a small, red font which makes it particularly challenging.
Research
You turned in a works cited page for the project.
Mechanics
While the animation plays without errors and as you intended, there are some mechanical problems with the animation. For example, the text at the end of the animation moves so quickly it is difficult to read. Likewise, the animation is bumpy/rough. These mechanical problems make your argument difficult to understand, particularly after a single viewing. I had to pause the video during each section to be able to read the text.