L. to M.

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L          Behind the Scenes        Head to Head        Postmodern Riff          M

No matter how interested I am in power relationships within a classroom, no matter how well intentioned my desire to teach my students how to disagree with me and each other in a reasonable academic fashion, there is still some dark corner on my teacher heart that demands to be respected and obeyed. Do not call what we have been doing for the last ten weeks a waste of time or you will arouse the dragon within, and he will breath fire all over you!

I want to love and understand as well as be loved and understood. When accepting less than that I want politeness and even tempers. When accepting less than that I want a chance to influence the discussion – a chance to demonstrate what I mean by politeness and even temper. I want these things most of all when I am negotiating among people that I consider institutionally higher or lower than me – having greater or lesser power. Among people within the same zone of institutional authority, I display my irrational will to power with a heavy mask and a dramatic flourish in an attempt to dramatize a self conscious awareness that I am - in part - playing a role.